Welcome to Malaysia!

We spent a couple of days in Kuala Lumpur last week before taking the bus and riverboat up to Kuala Tahan in the Taman Negara national park (or "jungle" for short) and now we're on Tioman island off the east coast.

The jungle...

Taman Negara is in the Malaysian interior and has some of the oldest tropical rainforest in the world. It's filled with wild animals, birds and insects most of which we didn't get anywhere near to. We did do a night safari though and saw a couple of civet cats, a paradise snake, a three-striped frog (snake dinner), and a nasty looking spider. One of the treks we did involved a 45-minute scramble through a cave system. Claustrophobic enough in itself. But also home to the 'red-tailed' pit viper. If the snakes don't get you though, the other beasties which will be sure to make an appearance are leeches. The locals smoke some weird root from the age of six to put them off. But the tourists are lunch. And apparently you mustn't tuck your trousers into your socks - they''ll just keep climbing..

Kuala Lumpur - 21st century city

Full of contradiction and contrast, KL is a hi-tech, vibey, young city. Nowhere else shows off the cultural diversity of Malaysia better than the capital. A mad mix of Malay, Indian and Chinese. Our preconceptions of the country have been squarely dispelled (religious dogma, repression of women, political corruption, etc). If these are still issues today in Malaysia then they're not as serious as they were in the past, and the future looks very bright.

Have you heard the one about...

Two recently divorced parents are in court to decide the custody of their only child Ahzari. The judge says to the him "So who would you like to live with? Your father?". "No" little Azhari says, "he beats me". So the judge says "Well, would you prefer to live with your mother then?". "No" little Azhari says, "she beats me too". So then the judge says "Well what about your grandparents, would you like to live with them?" "No, no" little Azhari says, "they beat me even worse". Running out of options, the judge looks little Azhari straight in the eyes and says "Who DO you want to live with then?". So little Azhari says "I want to live with the Malaysian football team. They never beat anyone."

Credit for this joke goes to Hardev, social commentator-extraodinaire and our waiter in a little restaurant in Asian Heritage Row.

Dispatches from Mersing

Today we're in transit, leaving our paradise island - Pulau Tioman and heading to our next destination. When we say OUR paradise island, that's exactly what we mean - in the short 5 days that we spent there, we officially adopted it - TIOMAN ROCKS!!!

And, in particular, our little village, Air Batang or ABC. The great thing about ABC (besides the super friendly island hosts and the tobacco-munching, tequila-swilling goat!), is the fact that you can walk the length of the village in about 30 minutes on the single pedestrian (and motorcycle) path that hugs the coastline and then snakes off into the jungle. So no need for public transport and no way anyone can get a bulldozer into the jungle. ABC is the place travellers go to for 2 nights and end up staying for two months - it was most certainly a tempting prospect for us!

So, Marc set about the task of becoming a native ABC villager, ably assisted by fellow Aberdeenite and Sean Connery sound-a-likey, Jason (would you believe we actually met another AFC supporter outside of Aberdeen!!! I never knew there were so many of them.). So, what else do two Scots on a paradise island do to amuse themselves, you may wonder? They go out in the midday sun (around a humid 32 degrees) and play golf - nae bother... Oh, and they also arrange for a bar to stay open until two in the morning so that they can catch the Scotland vs Faroe Islands match...och aye! Thankfully, neither of them passed out on the golf course, and Scotland beat the Faroe Islands 2:0. Naturally, all other football supporters hoping to catch their teams' games that night (Germany, England, etc) were either turned away, or forced to watch Scotland put the game to bed with two very smug (but secretly relieved) Scotsman.

As for me, I am happy to report that I am now the proud owner of a PADI Open Water Diver certificate...and I didn't die getting it (Mom)! The most surprising thing about the course was my inability to sink (who would have thought!) but I got there in the end and soon I was taking off my mask underwater, doing fin pivots and hovers, and generally scaring the bejeesus out of the life aquatic. Unfortunately I do still have problems equalising my ears, so I experience a bit of vertigo when I ascend (weird!). Nevertheless, I've done it, bought the T-Shirt and am now look forward to my first dive which should be somewhere on the Great Barrier Reef. Farewell paradise and onwards to the land of Oz...

Check out our photos from Tioman and Malaysia on the Photo Gallery page.